dear jennifer

the most important story is that i am in love (see below). it's very new and shiny still, and so i bite my tongue often, worried i am rash. but.

he reminds me of you sometimes - the writers he references, the way he talks, his pauses and lookings out the window. i can't decide which i like more - the talking for hours (with no thought fully explored or point made, an eyes closed to drop a finger on a map, head in that direction, but being distracted on the way, never reaching any destination on one endless incredible roadtrip through all new territory kind of talking) or the kissing (etc) for hours (i shan't betray anything further in parenthesis).

he is beautiful.
oh my.

it's immensely exciting. but i'm shy of it too, and cautious, and analytical. that said, i'm also trying not to be, because sometimes, you want to just leave things whole, and not dissect. i'm not sure i want to know how this works.

do we ever stop being scared?

what else. i'm unemployed. which is nice. other than the financial doom. i have an immense cold, which is dreadful, and eating away at my unemployed bliss, or rather filling it with snot, sneezes, coughs, naps, and a general big head haze.

i miss you.

susan gives me updates, which i both devour hungrily and savour slowly, somehow, trying to slyly ask more questions each time. but you tell me - tell me tell me tell me things.

i know i just said it, but again, and still, i miss you.